1. Okay am I actually doing this? Have we really gotten to this point in life?
  2. Facebook log in? Oh hell no…
  3. Actually the look and feel of this app is alright, I’m impressed.
  4. Okay verifying photo… seems legit
  5. Ethnic group? Wait, what? I’m a hybrid, how am I going to explain this?
  6. Better start thinking about this bio thing.
  7. Damnit, I can’t not select an ethnic group
  8. Okay, how can I be myself but also sound appealing to the kind of man I would want?
  9. Photo verified – okay, almost there
  10. These questions are a bit much. I mean, I’m a practicing Muslim, but if I put very practicing and I have a photo with no scarf – is that like an issue?
  11. Ok, I’m ready to start swiping!
  12. Wait, which of the three guys in this photo is meant to be you?
  13. Why is every picture of you and a car?
  14. Okayyy, so men clearly lie about their age too.
  15. Maybe I should have asked someone to check my bio and give me feedback.
  16. Dude, what the heck – you are 49.
  17. Okay, maybe I should add more pictures of myself – is that slutty by Muzmatch/Minder standards?
  18. Crap! This guy is online and wants to talk! What now??
  19. So you have a blurred profile picture… um no.
  20. I wish I could make a fake male account so I could see what my competition is like.
  21. If something works out with one of these guys, would we tell people we met on this app?
  22. Foodie? Loves travelling? Could you be any more generic?
  23. Okay, that photo is way too close up, slow down there on the selfies, akhi…
  24. Now you just look haram!
  25. Decent looking, funny profile, great career… “Never prays”…. of course…
  26. Dude you say you’re a convert but your profile just makes you sound like you have jungle fever… this is so problematic.
  27. Self-employed, eh? Is that code for you don’t have a job?
  28. I really don’t have time to read an essay here, bro. Keep it simple.
  29. You’re 19, lol. I’m basically an aunty.
  30. Oh my god, how did anyone find love on this bloody app??? HELP!