Stay positive they say… how can you “stay positive” when your mind has the tendency to view the world with a negative lens? Individuals who catastrophize events are more likely to have a difficult time grounding themselves and generating a positive mindset so easily.

This is because we pick up coping strategies and defence mechanisms as children which impact the way we think; ultimately creating and determining our behavioural patterns. Being conditioned to think a certain way for many years results in a habit influenced by past upbringings, conflict, and experiences.

For example, some households do not encourage healthy coping strategies when experiencing a negative event, nor do they validate each other’s emotions, which in this case, can evoke challenging feelings, such as anxiety. The child in the family may develop a damaging way of coping with negative emotions, alongside with self-negative talk because such feelings were not accepted, and thus feel “wrong” to the individual.

These mental coping strategies and influences are generally operating unconsciously and affecting the quality of our lives without our conscious knowledge. That’s why it is important to become aware of what is blocking your sense of emotional stability, peace, resilience, and a healthy mindset; all of which lead to your true self.

In order to feel lively and grounded even during dark moments (ESP during this LOCK-DOWN!), we need resilience, positive thinking habits, as they increase our resilience and sense of control. This means we now have the ability to move forward and cope with anxiety or any event. This can also help us become aware of our deep-rooted conflicts, the way we handle the conflict, and how this affects our relationship with others.



Here are four simple ways to not only help you develop healthy mental health habits, but serve your self-care intentions and can help you become your true, authentic self: 


  1.  Silencing Negative Self-Talk

To silence self-negative talk, we must first become aware of how we talk to ourselves. Be conscious of how you treat yourself during the day. Most times, when we talk negatively, we can cause anxiety and perpetuate awful feelings. This is because we lose perspective and logic over concepts and start to believe bad things will happen or are happening, even though good is present in your life and nothing like that is going on (this may also be due to past hurt from other events/relationships, and have the pain/anxiety still held inside you). You may also see yourself negatively and the world around you that develops paranoia. Therefore, become mindful of the way you talk to yourself and question the way you do this.

How often do you think negatively and how realistic/logical is this thought? Is this thought coming from a past unresolved conflict or hurt, if so, how can you cope with this in a healthy, self-compassionate way?

Activity: Start to notice what comes up for you and consider them as messages that you may have heard or experienced in the past or from current anxiety/negative feelings from a scary event.

  • Tip: Grab a journal AND do some breath work. This calms you down to reduce emotional overwhelm and fear. Once you are calm and grounded, this helps set perspective: you are more likely to notice your underlying issue or worry. This allows you to look at your thoughts with an open mind, detach yourself from reacting with fear (flight or fright response), to let all the emotions block your sense of clarity and rational mind.
  • This may not be an easy process; sometimes professional help is needed to get started.


  1. Practice Self-Compassion and Kindness

It is important to be kind to ourselves during our lock-down period. Self-compassion increases acceptance, emotional validation and positive reinforcing experiences. Instead of beating yourself up for feeling low all the time, appreciate these feelings as they only make you human and real. They also confirm our reality in which we are able to appreciate our good days and positive feelings that can follow such states. Feeling low and negative is only temporary, do not let this temporary feeling or negative event define you permanently. You are much more than that — you are perfect, unique, full of different feelings and experiences.


  1. Acknowledge, Observe, and Learn to Let Go of Negative Thoughts

This is VERY important. I had always denied or pushed away my negative thoughts/feelings when they arrived again. The only thing I learnt by doing this is that it was only making my feelings/thoughst more uncomfortable and a lot stronger! Allow your mind to practice not giving power to them.

Activity: When they arise, welcome them in compassionately, observe them and acknowledge their presence and feelings that are happening in your body. Body scan meditation is a great way to settle this. Affirm yourself that this is only natural and temporary, and move on to whatever you were doing.

  • Tip: you are welcome to question your negative thoughts when appropriate and write these in a journal (a healthy way of expressing yourself). You will be surprised to find that most of your thoughts, if not all, are false or distorted.


  1. Creating Positive Experiences.

When we are down or experience negative events, we tend to go back to them and remember how they made us feel. Feeling the event rather than experiencing it is what us humans remember the most — whether it’s in our mind or nervous systems. For example: you recalled an anxious thought, your automatic body response is: increases heart-rate and aching in the chest.

“You cannot just plan to avoid the bad, you have to plan to experience the good, the deeper, the more powerful experiences you will have. You remember the bad times more than the good times, because when we are struggling, we cry for a week and when we have a good time we celebrate for a day” — Jay Shetty

Creating more positive experiences strengthen and expand our mind. We become more hopeful and resilient. During the lock-down, the more I meditate, watch inspiring YouTube videos, write in my gratitude book, reconnect with my childhood hobbies, or want to create positive gestures with loved ones, especially during hard times, the more I become resilient.

This doesn’t mean I am always positive, in fact, my negative mind motivated me to write this very piece. I get overwhelmed by the lock-down, too! It just means I face challenges in a kind and strong manner, which allows me to spring back up much faster. I know it does not define me and this life is always going to be beautiful and fulfilling.

I am sure you too can lead a life of strength, resilience, empowerment, peace, creativity and motivation (authentic self). Our life and mind are in our CONTROL, we can start to live the life we want now. 

It is only our destiny.

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